Flatulence and Impudence

So what do flatulence and impudence have in common? First, they are almost spelled the same. They are one letter shy of being the same length. Flatulence is a normal bodily function. Impudence is not though. But when the two meet, then there is trouble.

Those two met in the form of some 8^th grade boys causing a disruption by thinking it was fun to let’em rip when they thought it would cause the greatest reaction. Does this surprise me at all? Nope. I’ve taught at the Jr. High level enough to expect anything from 7^th and 8^th grade boys. But that is exactly what happened in at Camden-Rockport Middle School.

The informal school newsletter written by the eighth grade claims a new ban was put into place.

“According to this week's "Fire Cracker" newsletter though, an informal eighth-grade publication, the joke's on the boys as the penalty for "intentional farting" is now a detention.

"Strange, but true, thanks to a bunch of 8th grade boys, intentional farting has been banned from CRMS," the newsletter said. "It started out as a funny joke and eventually turned into a game. This is the first rule at CRMS that prevents the use of natural bodily functions. The penalty for intentional farting is a detention, so keep it to yourself!"”

That isn’t totally true either as the administration deems any disruptive behavior as subject to a detention. One might think the author of the “update” is using the power of the pen to dissuade what they are finding to be repulsive. I can’t blame them but if they want a future in responsible journalism, they need to get their facts straight.

Is any of this new? Again, no this is rather normal for the 7^th to 8^th grade levels. Way back when I was in 8^th grade in 1986, a group I knew of hung out in a little used area of the building before classes began. Some of the boys thought it would be fun to spit over the railing down the stairwell to see how big of a splat they could get on the stair. Don’t ask why, it was junior high. It all came to an end when one of the boys got a big load ready and let it drop only for it to land on the head of a teacher just starting to walk up the stairs. He was busted and got a detention for it.

But it wasn’t a normal detention. He was required to stay in the office after school until he could fill up a vial from the science department full of spit with no assistance of a drink of water. He couldn’t do it and vowed to not spit again. Sounds like a few boys need a gas version of that penalty. But then the ACLU or some parents will sue to keep the disruptive farting rights in place.

But the odds are good that the farting boys may have a date with sophomore initiation. That is if the ACLU doesn't stop that too. At least there is no lawsuit to stop the reputation that will follow them through the last 4 years of school.