Pain Relief in an Unusual Way

You may be wondering why a topic on pain relief for one of my physical problems is in the category of “Are You Thinking?” instead of “Disability Issues.” Well, there is a very good reason why. Regarding this story, I was sleeping at the time, woke up groggy and made a comedy of errors along the way. Enjoy as I reward myself the “Are You Thinking?” award.

This event actually took place earlier this year during the spring. Due to needing to help my parents move my brother’s stuff into a storage unit, I was in a lot of pain from head to toe. (Long story, he’s 39 and divorcing a not so nice or bright female of the human race.) Well, evening came and I was in too much pain to sleep. My mother had this rather expensive cream that you rub on, let it activate, then feel as it removes or dulls the pain with a bit of a tingle.

I was hurting quite a bit so my wife helped to apply the cream and tucked me in bed. We left the jar on the nightstand. Apparently, the stuff worked as I fell asleep before I put the cap back on the jar of cream. Remember that last sentence as that was my first not thinking mistake.

Similar to my other weird dream with activity, I had another strange dream that night. I do not remember the details but I remember in my dream that I had put my fingers in a goo of some sort. As would be normal for anyone, I brought my hands forward to see what it was. In my dream, I was standing up but in reality I was laying on my back with my arms straight up.

Well, there was a goo on my fingers. It was the entire, nearly full, open jar of the pain relief cream until gravity took over and made it a nearly empty jar as the contents dumped squarely into my right armpit and started to activate. Getting up from a dream state, I did not fully comprehend what had happened immediately and stood up. This caused the gob of goo to drip smaller clumps onto my stomach and on top of my underwear. Of course, my hands were covered and I tried to wipe it off on my leg and chest.

Following up with the initial logic of washing it off, I hopped into a warm shower to rinse it off. When I was in the shower having the hot water blast my armpit, my brain started to work as it registered that the pain relief cream is activated by heat.

So at 3 AM on a Saturday night, I confined myself to the recliner chair and watched TV (or whatever is on at that hour) until the very intense and deep burning sensation left my armpit, my hands, my chest, my leg, and my groin. Hence, I think I definitely won my “Are You Thinking?” award.